And my first thought was: Doctor Who: The Husbands of River Song

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I finally managed to watch the Christmas special of Doctor Who following several days of busy family gatherings and food. Doctor Who’s Christmas specials are typically dominated by sentimentality and sickly sweet morality and happiness and this years was by-in- large no different.  It was a reasonably predictability comedic romp through time complete with guest stars Matt Lucas and Greg Davies and bringing a whole new meaning to the term ‘face-swap’. The central premise of the Doctor saving the chaotically adventurous and immoral River Song from her own greed in order to spend one final Christmas with her. It was a fun episode and it was nice to see the return of Alex Kingston and even nicer to see the River/Doctor relationship seem less creepy for once. Peter Capaldi was not at his best but the cheesiness of the script was not doing him any favours when he is at his best at his darkest. It was sentimental drivel, particularly the final message of ‘And they lived happily ever after’ but it’s Christmas and therefore it can be tolerated…at least this week.

And my first thought was…..Doctor Who: Hell Bent

‘What was the point?’ was my first reaction at the end of Doctor Who Series 9’s finale episode. It was beyond any shadow of a doubt extremely disappointing due to the simple fact that there was next to no plot. Steven Moffatt didn’t so much cop out as fall flat on his face. The series has been building to ‘the hybrid’ revelation and it died a slow painful death. The Doctor could have properly been the hybrid and it could have been a majestically terrifying episode if it had been allowed to be. The return of Gallifrey was under used and the Doctor wasn’t allowed to be truly terrifying I would have preferred it if Steven Moffat had stuck to the premise that Clara is dead and actually focused on the Doctor getting revenge on the timelords, particularly the lord president who could have been used so much more effectively.

The episode did have some good points, when he was allowed to be Peter Capaldi was magnificent and I greatly enjoyed the moment when the general regenerated into an equally awesomely badass female character. I would have preferred it if Clara had stayed dead and Me stayed the hell off my television set but I suppose that I can’t have everything….or anything if this episode was anything to go by.

It was mediocre and I honestly couldn’t tell you what happened because the answer simply is nothing did. Please Steven Moffat there is no need for you to attempt to be clever if the result is dreadful, stick to a simple narrative structure with a villain and the Doctor saving the day if you can’t manage to write anything else without ruining it.